Real Jews

"What Area do You Think Torah Jews Need to Improve?" It's a topic on hashkafa.com, and it ought to get any thinking person, well, thinking. Here it is: http://www.hashkafah.com/index.php?showtopic=26307.

On hashkafa.com, my response was: Nothing. I honestly don't think that there is any one way in which we as a society need to improve. Perhaps that's because I believe that nobody can expect to be perfect, which is why we need to all contribute. But that's fodder for a future post.

Anyway, I've finally found a deficiency. It's not a problem unique to judaism. Bono, Bill Gates, and Angelina Jolie can learn from it too. But as Jews, we don't have any excuse.

I work with kids a fair amount. I tutor, work in summer camp, and even teach now and then.
In summer camp last summer, one of my kids was named Baruch*. Nice kid, by all accounts. Short, but a good athlete, which is pretty important in this camp. Peppy kid, dimples, and a smart mouth.

Sadly, a few months ago, Baruch's mother died. She'd been sick, but nobody knew quite how seriously. Terrible, terrible, tragedy, we all mouthed, and asked around what we could do to help. The shiva came and went, and by the time the shloshim was over, everybody was finally comfortable with the Dad cooking supper every night. I guess that's why they stopped volunteering.

Anyway, Baruch goes back to school. Now he's a celebrity. Everybody shares their snack with him, everybody picks him at recess, and even the teachers are afraid to discipline him.
Although it's been a tough situation, we can all breathe a sigh of relief, because we as a community circled the wagons, and because of us, Baruch will have a chance at a normal happy fulfilling life.

I probably shouldn't be thinking about it Shimmy* now. After all, it's not Baruch's fault. But I can't get this other camper out of my head. Shimmy is a big kid. He's only in seventh grade but he could pass for fifteen. He probably shaves already, if he can find someone from whom to borrow a shaver.

Daddy gone, and Momma missin a few screws. Been that way for a while. When he's living at home, he don't do nothing. Stays on the couch and watches TV. Unless his mother got the remote first.

So he don't live at home. Been in and out of foster homes. One he ran away from. One says he's a bad influence on the kids. Now he lives in a yeshiva dorm. He gets up in the morning to a chherful good morning from nobody, goes to school if he's in the mood, (which he usually is, why stay in a yeshiva dorm?) and comes home to...Nobody again.

And when I see him, wandering the streets, I can't help thinking, "Can we peel some lips off Baruch's behind to help Shimmy?"

There are two ways one can perform "chesed". The first way, the more juvenile way, is performing it in a purely reactionary way. You see Hungry Man. You walk by. You realize you will not enjoy dinner, thinking of Hungry Man. You give Hungry Man quarter.

The other type is more mature. You see Hungry Man. You feel that society has a duty to support those in need. You are part of society. So you give Hungry Man quarter.
Dude has the same quarter. Still gonna take four more to buy a beer. But the second way is better.

Sometimes, it's not hard to muster sympathy. A tremulous ten year old voice saying kaddish in the back of the shul will always keep the hearts melting, and the donations rolling in.
But a Real Jew sees beyond that. A Real Jew doesn't care about the dimples, doesn't need a puppy to make him sympathetic.

And sadly for Shimmy, there aren't enough Real Jews.



*Loser. What did you think it was going to say?